When Neighboring Hurts
My best writing is usually done when I’ve had time to let things marinate and percolate in my heart. But I sensed that the most honest writing on this topic might happen when the hurt was fresh, the wound still open, the tears still flowing.
I’ve invested my heart in this neighborhood.
Nearly fifteen years.
Countless prayer walks.
Thousands of personal conversations.
Hundreds of kind acts.
Dozens of offerings to come over and pray.
A handful of Bible studies in my living room.
Many Many blessings reaped in relationships as neighbors have also loved me.
The hurt doesn’t negate the precious things on that list. But the precious things on the list make it sting.
The details are unimportant, but the calculated attacks from the enemy are worth listing:
My husband and I were lied to.
Our efforts to serve our community were judged.
Our friends were divided and neighbors said ugly things to one another and to us.
My daughters witnessed neighbors treating one another so poorly that, through tears, one of them asked, “Did Dad do something wrong that caused this?” No, honey, he didn’t, but it sure feels that way at this moment.
The brokenness of the world was on full display.
We came home and wrestled with our emotions. What was true? What was a lie? Is there a place we need to repent? What is our place in this as Christ’s ambassadors? Should we fight for justice or fall back, allowing the person of Christ to be the ONLY stumbling block in our lives in this neighborhood?
Tough, real questions. I want to preserve my witness–GOOD. I want to preserve my reputation–NOT GOOD. I want people to get along when they disagree–GOOD. I want to demand people share that value and figure out how to treat one another well–NOT GOOD.
Neighboring is generally a delight. To be curious about people. To get to know them better. To pray for them. To do life together and grow in how I get to relate to people different from me. It’s challenging but fun.
This was not fun. This IS not fun. It hurts. It feels personal.
But I choose to remember today Paul’s words to the Ephesians, “Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” And so I called a neighbor and asked her to prayer walk and beg God for my neighborhood AGAIN today. I choose to believe God’s words to Zerubbabel in regard to rebuilding the temple also apply to building up my community, “Your power will not do it either. Only the power of my Spirit will do it,’ says the Lord who rules over all.” God doesn’t need my efforts, but He wants me to call on His Spirit to work.
How have you experienced hurt while neighboring? Has it kept you from continuing in obedience to the second greatest commandment, “Love your neighbor as yourself”? Whether you relate to my experience or not, consider printing and praying these scriptures over your neighborhood, knowing the enemy seeks to steal, kill and destroy.
